Marriage after Divorce as a Christian

Divorce is a huge no no in the Christian faith, in many faiths actually. Yet in today’s world it is becoming more and more common, but does something being common make it ok? This is a subject I know very well, as I am one of the millions of divorced Christians. The bible says what God has joined together, let no one separate." Matthew 6. So, what happens when it is separated? When two people say those vows it is a promise to God and each other, so it’s hard to believe God will be ok with you breaking a promise.

When I got divorced, I wasn’t a full believer yet, then about a year later I committed myself to God and the more I began to learn about God and the rules in the bible the more I started to freak out. I broke one of the big rules, here I am starting out and I’m already on Gods bad list. So naturally I started to search the bible for loopholes, I read verse after verse, I watched sermons, I read articles but I got nowhere. Nobody gave me a way out. There were exceptions to the law but I wasn’t abused, I wasn’t cheated on, the most I had was he wasn’t a believer but to be honest I wasn’t a full believer either and God knew that, so there I was with the hard truth, there was no escape I had sinned and to make matters worse I had found someone else and was now engaged according to the bible I was now committing adultery. I’m sure you can imagine how heart breaking that realization was but as a new believer I still had a lot to learn about who God was.

The word “forgive” is mentioned 42 times in the Old Testament and 33 times in the New Testament. God is always trying to teach us to forgive others and show us that he forgives us, in 1 John 1:9 it says “ If we confess our sins he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all”. We need to come to terms with the fact that divorce is a sin and to remarry will mean adultery but it doesn’t mean you can’t be forgiving, it doesn’t mean God loves you any less. Moses is the greatest prophet who ever lived, and he was chosen to transcribe the Torah, he was also a murderer, now I don’t know about you but I’m pretty sure murder is a bigger sin than divorce and yet God forgave him. Paul Killed Christians and yet again God forgave him. The Lord knows we are sinful, we can try to be like Jesus but God knows we never will and he accepts that. But this kind of Sin requires real repentance you can’t just say sorry God, please forgive me and that is that, you can’t just say the words, to say them you have to confess, you have to get down on your knees and ask for God to forgive, you have to mean the words you say. Most all you have to believe you are forgiven.

I did not, I spent 4 years punishing myself. Everything that went wrong in my life, which many things did, I blamed myself. I thought I deserve this, I don’t belong being happy I am living in Sin. Then two days before my wedding I was talking to my friend and telling her how unworthy I felt and how I can never be forgiven. She reminded me that God had already forgiven me long ago, the moment I asked God to forgive me my sin was already forgotten. It was me who didn’t forgive myself. God didn’t want me to live in misery alone for the rest of my life because of one thing I did wrong, that is not who God is. The Greek Translation of “forgiveness” literally mean “let it go”, it means a person does not demand payment for a dept. God had forgiven me, he let it go, now I had to let it go. When I walked down that aisle, I was free from guilt. When I said those vows they were not the same vows I said before. Knowing what I know now about God and the bible, I new what those words meant they were not just words everybody is made to say at a wedding, they weren’t a line from a romance movie every girl has seen and wished to say. They were a promise, a covenant between me, my husband, and God.

So to answer the question, does something being common make it ok? No! Divorce is a sin unless you have been abused or cheated on. But does that mean you don’t deserve to be happy? Does that mean God doesn’t love you just as much as he did before? No. It does mean you need to ask for forgiveness and when it is given, which it will, you have to forgive yourself.

Thanks to my friend for reminding me of this.